Contemporary Spanish Literature #365

"Sin amor, las ideas
son como mujeres feas"

- Abel Martin

Where It's At

I've always wanted to live by the mountains, but the sea is giving the mountain a run for it's money.

Gibraltar is a strange place. It's a tiny British colony in the southern-most region of Spain, and it's home to the Rock of Gibraltar, many many monkeys, and a huge underground cavern. Sadly, I don't have any good stories... the day consisted of riding an 1960s Volkswagen bus that had been converted into a tourbus, walking around a massive cave that is now an underground concert hall, and being attacked by monkeys--seriously though.

From the rock, you can see Africa, Spain, the Mediterranean Sea and the Atlantic Ocean.

The cave was actually my favorite part of the trip, but this picture doesn't really do it justice. This is one tiny section of stalagtites... they were HUGE in real life.




And of course, the monkeys... there are thousands of them all over the colony. Primates are apparently really smart, and this poses some serious problems for the inhabitants. I guess the monkeys break into people's homes and steal food and makes messes and such. I went up to one for a nice little photo-op, and the little bugger grabbed my hand in the cutest way possible. However, I quickly learned that he was trying to move my hand so he could steal my purse and the sandwich inside. Haha, I actually thought of Anna and said, "Monkey! Get away from my bocadillo!" He knew I meant business.

I'll Take Pictures; I Promise

So, I should definitely be working on a project that's due tomorrow, but I guess old habits die hard... even if you are in another country. Honestly, people in Spain have this amazing ability to worry about very little if anything at all, and I think it's rubbing off on me a little. For example, I don't care about my grades, and, instead of doing homework, I've been planning my voyages across Europe. Let me share...

February 21: Carnaval in the Coastal town of Cadiz--Spanish style Mardis Gras

March 13-15: Excursion to Lisbon, Portugal

March 19-22: Personal trip to Barcelona with my friends Tori and Abbie

March 27-28: Excursion to Cordoba

April 3-8: Excursion to Morocco

April 9-12: Semana Santa--apparently it's a big deal

April 16-19: Personal trip to Stockholm, Sweden with my friend Abbie (I will also be spending a night in London and a night in Milan, Italy)

April 27-May 3: Feria--this is the biggest fiesta in Andalusia (but I might be off to Bilbao to the see the Guggenheim or to Munich to experience Germany)

May 7-10: Personal trip to Geneva, Switzerland with my friend Tori to visit an old highschool friend studying on the French border

May 23: Flight back to the states

I'm so freaking excited! Anyway, I am fully aware that I'm probably going to just scrape by at school, and I probably won't even be able to speak Spanish that well, and I will certainly come home without a penny to my name, but, hey, you're only 21 in Europe once. And I will finally be able to say, "for the price of pint of milk, I'll tell you all I know about the state of the world today." Thank you Belle and Sebastian.

So, oddly enough, I wanted to write about my recent trips to Rhonda and Gibraltar... I guess I got a little side tracked.

Rhonda is an amazing town enveloped by mountains. It's the most quaint thing I have ever seen...I went to a gypsy district where I bought a hand made change purse for a few dollars--it's that quaint. However, I'm fairly ignorant when it comes to technology, and the SD card I used to store the pictures of Rhonda isn't actually compatible with our laptops. I was fortunate to find this 4GB SDHC card lying on the ground in the gardens of a Moorish palace, and there were no pictures on it; so, I took it for my very own. I expect that my not being able to actually transfer my pictures onto my computer is some form of poetic justice. But, I just won't think about that right now. The town is also the home of the oldest Plaze de Toros and one of the highest/oldest bridges in Spain.

Ernest Hemingway actually visited Rhonda frequently--the way Gertrude Stein felt about Paris was the way Hemingway felt about Rhonda. It's where he fell in love with Bull Fighting, and he drew inspiration to write The Sun Also Rises from this city. That alone made me fall in love with it. After the group visited the Plaza and I inspected the bridge several times for structural support, we wandered around the overlook and ate lunch while soaking in the view of the mountains.

That little gazebo is actually where I ate lunch, and there was a gypsy sitting up there singing "Hotel California" with a lovely spanish accent. It was a nice taste of home. After that, a few of us traipsed around the city looking for an icecream shop, and we happened upon an old man who insisted upon giving us a tour. We politely declined, and annexed ourselved into a geriatrics group. Thankfully, we were able to excuse ourselves and quickly find an heladeria... I'm convinced it saved us from emotional scarring because it's just so damn good! (I think the Spanish have figured out a way to inject it with seratonin).

The following day about five of us boarded a bus for Gibraltar. I'll be writing about that later (there will always be a part of me that succumbs to schoolwork).

There Is No Entry for: "Butt" in Dictionary.com

Sometimes, I don't even know where to begin. Right now, I will begin with David Beckham's toosh, hiene, ass, rear end, bum, cheeks, shitter, tuckass, culo (span.) etc.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009 I saw Spain defeat England (2-0) in the World Cup qualifying match in the Nervion Stadium in Seville. Soccer is, by far, my favorite sport to watch, and if i played sports, it would probably be my favorite sport to play. This game surpassed any expectations that I could have ever had. about any sport--I know it sounds like I'm being melodramatic... but, seriously. I think it reminded me of when my highschool soccer team competed for the state title, and all my friends and I traveled down to Columbus, Ohio, to watch the game. It's also similar because all my girlfriends in highschool had a thing for soccer players, and I'm pretty sure there wasn't one girl at the Spain/England game who wasn't ready to sacrafice her decency just to get close to David Beckham. A couple rows behind me at the game, there was a frizzy haired, Spanish girl screaming "GUAPO, GUAPOOOooo....." every single time he came within 100 feet of the stands. I was one of the lucky one's who actually got within 100 feet of him but only thanks to my friend Alison. This girl woke up at 6am to get to the stadium and buy tickets for 5 of us. Oddly enough, I wasn't even supposed to go, but the guys she bought the tickets for never called her back. Good thing too... We had second row seats at the midfield line.

Being surrounded by Spaniards at that kind of a game is far more intense than any Stillers fan could imagine. Not to mention that we all went to an Irish pub before, and it was filled with rowdy Brits. There were broken bottles all over the streets, a Spanish girl got punched in the face by a drunk Englishman, the police came mounted on horseback, much "boo-ing" and singing of "God Save the Queen" ensued... there was also a decent amount of puke in the street. I was later informed by one of my Spanish friends that one could tell it was British puke; I was very impressed by this cultural observation--British vomit is different than Spanish vomit. After spending enough time at the pub to realize why the Spanish think that ALL people who speak English are culturally ignorant assholes, we decided to go to the stadium. It was crowded, we walked really fast everywhere (which is quite difficult after one has had a few beers), I dropped a fresh pack of cigarettes in a puddle, I was not pleased.

Anyway, we got inside, and it was amazing. I don't really know how to describe all of it, but it was definitely a good game. I am by no means a sportswriter.

Kibbles and Bits

1. There is no such thing as carpet in Spain. Every building I have been in completely lacks carpeting (must be due to the hot summers).
2. People wear their wedding rings on the right hand because they consider it to be the lucky hand. (I'm pretty sure this comes from Arabic tradition because, in Middle Eastern countries, the left hand is still considered unclean).
3. People do not live in houses. Everyone on lives in apartments; however, I think the apartment I'm living in right now is still bigger than my house :)
4. I have a GREAT appreciation for public transportation. I spend 30 Euros a month to go wherever I want--I think I spend triple that in gas when I'm at home and have to drive to work everyday. (I still secretly miss my car).
5. The cars here are tiny--the biggest thing I've seen- that isn't a minivan- is a ford focus. Because, of the Spanish tradition of conserving space, they make fun of Americans with huge cars.
6. These people know how to parallel park like nobody's business.
7. Their toasters are really bizarre because they don't use sliced bread like we do... I'll have to take a picture and post it later.
8. Pretty much everything closes for the siesta--I love this tradition... everyday, I come home from class at 2, each lunch, and take a nap until 5 in the afternoon.
9. People in Sevilla consider 49 degrees and rainy the worst of all possible weather. I explained to my house mother that this weather is typical of May in PA. She was horrified.
10. If you drink coffee after 10am, you are considered psychotic and "to-go" mugs are nowhere to be found. I'm having a hard time with this.
11. You are supposed to treat waiters and waitresses like crap... and people here only tip 5%
12. When I come home, I will be confused as to why there are not ancient cathedrals on street corners, waterfalls in public parks, and benches that are older than our country on the sidewalk.

Ain't No Trouble Gonna Find Me Now

"In Spain, the dead are more alive than the dead of any other country" -Federico Garcia Lorca

I actually have no clue who Federico Garcia Lorca is, but, when I found this quote, I decided that it was the perfect way to describe Andalucia. In fact, it's not just the dead, but everything here that is more alive, and everything about life is stronger and more potent.

WHO:

Tessa Rae Bright--my roommate. Tessa is about 5'2" and is a pretty typical Mic-western girl. She's really friendly and outgoing. Almost too friendly... I've said, "keep walking, Tessa" several times when guys try to stop us on the street. She also likes partying a bit more than I do, but it's a good mix because we have lots of fun together and we balance each other out. She's the type of person who likes to go out and do something every night, and, during our first Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights in Sevilla, we were out until 6am every single night. I cannot keep that up, but I do like the nightlife here... things don't even really get started until 2am--it's great for my nocturnal nature. Anyway, she's good to live with except that she uses my towel to dry her hands...thankfully lisa never did that :) It really isn't that big of a deal, but still... We have alot of fun together and laugh about dumb stuff ... like how I've already broken 2 of the glasses at our house.

Sandra Orejas Gonzales--my house mother, and she's super nice. She's beautiful for a woman of 54, and 5'10" and very slim. Actually almost everyone here is gorgeous. When I first got into Sevilla, someone told me that it's the city of beautiful people. I thought she was kidding. She was not. Anyway, Sandra is a work-aholic, and she spends all of her time with a man named Torri who is supposedly her "partner at work," but I think he's just her partner... for heaven's sake the man takes naps in her living room every afternoon. Maybe it's just a cultural difference. Anyway, Sandra is in the music business, and apparently she signs contracts for some label in Spain. Sometimes she works at home; sometimes she's out until 12am at shows and such. Interesting story: she neglected to actually give me a mattress when I first arrived... it was just a foam pad on a bed frame, and my back was killing me. I told her about it, and she immediately got me another foam pad... so she's not too bad. And when I told her that I was sick, she made me some lemon juice-honey-hot water concoction. Plus she lets us do whatever we want :) Other house parents try to enforce really strict rules, but Sandra gives us free reign.

Lopez--her fox terrier... an annoying little mut

(he's pretty sedated here)

Lola--the maid. This woman is a trip. She's probably sixty something, and she has the facial characteristics of a raccoon. She speaks Spanish so fast that we usually just stand there saying "si, si, si, si, si, si" until she gives up. She acts more like a mother than Sandra ever does... once she yelled at me for not wearing socks, and today she asked Tessa and I if we had picked up our rooms and made our beds. To which we replied, "no." However, she does cook some amazing food... except for yesterday when we had hotdog soup... I was severly confused. Oh, I've also tried cow heart now. The taste isn't too bad, but the consistency really got to me. Other than that, I've loved everything I've eaten. I have fresh baked bread with every meal and TONS of extra virgen olive oil... I eat olive oil like it's peanut butter. But not really.

Abbie--another girl I hang out with. Abby is pretty reserved, and she definitely has a good head on her shoulders. She can get a little feisty, but generally speaking, I feel like she could go to Grove... unlike everyone else here. She doesn't really like going out and partying, but she offers some great company, and we have some similar interests (art!). We're actually planning on going to Gibraltar next weekend together. I like her because she won't make dumb-ass decisions, ie: walking home alone and drunk at 4am.


Melissa, Alison, Merideth: other girls I hang out with that like to party... They're all great and completely hysterical in their own ways (hysterical as in funny not as in psychotic--just to clarify)

Jen, Joelle, and Ariel: generally we call them the blondes. We hang out a decent amount. I met all the girls I've mentioned on the first day in Madrid, and we all decided to go out for lunch together. We could not decide on any particular restaurant, and I'm sure we looked severly lost. So these two old men stopped us, and told us about a restaurant called "El rey de las tortillas" or the King of tortillas. This was the worst restaurant that I've ever been to, but it was an interesting first experience with the natives.

Skylar, Sean, and Eric (from left to right): Skylar is the really laid back one who doesn't say much at all. He actually used to be best friends with Ryan Lesser... fun fact of the day. If I'm going to stereotype people, then Eric is the jock... simply because he plays football in college. He's really nice, and pretty outgoing. Sean honestly reminds me of Kevin Gaul in some ways, and I really don't even know why. Anyway, they're all really nice guys.

WHAT:

Excursions: I have seen some of the most awe-inspiring things of my life since I've been in Spain, but since this may be the most boring section to read... I'll try to keep it short and only talk about the best of the best...

El Prado--this is like the Spanish Louvre. Thank the Lord for Civ Arts! I got to see all the works by El Greco (except the martyrdom of St. Maurice), Velazquez, and Goya. We were all divided up into two groups-the Spanish group an the English group. Thankfully I was in the Spanish group, and the tour guide was this amazing lady who I secretly want to be best friends with. She told us so much about all the works, and I was totally that annoying kid that knew the answers to her questions (thank you Dr. Munson). I learned that Goya's work "Saturn Devouring One of His Son's" is also thought to be an expression of his own guilt. Apparently he had a venereal disease, and everytime his wife got pregnant the unborn baby would die (this happened 19 times). So the last time this happened, he was so distraught that he made this painting. It's actually alot smaller than one would think... maybe an 11x14

El Museo De Reina Sofia--Later the same afternoon I made some people go with me to the modern art museum, and I got to see "Guerrnica" (the painting Picasso made after Hitler bombed the village of Guerrnica). I've seen this painting in countless textbooks for art history, history, spanish, civilizations courses... etc. Seeing it in person was amazing, and I stood there looking at it for about 10 minutes. I could have stood there for an hour. Because of it's massive size and the use of the gray-scale, it just makes you feel the misery of those people... it was beautiful.

The Basillica at the Valley of the Fallen in El Escorial--this is a hugely controversial place because Franco built it during the Spanish Civil war. Anyway, when you pull up the first thing you see is a massive cross on top of a hill... like in Rio de Janeiro, except that this one is being held up by four massive stone scupltures . Then, under the cross, there is this stylized reproduction of what looks like "la Pieta" which is that sculpture Michael Angelo did where Mary is holding Jesus' dead body. Each sculpture is easily the size of a house or small building, and they are in themselves breathtaking. But then you actually go in the Basillica, and you understand why people hated religion and found it severely oppressive. It's frightening. Everything is massive and cold, but it inspires so much reverence. So, when you walk through the foyer, there are two more gigantic sculptures of arch angels towering over you and bearing down on top of you; then, hundreds of feet away you can see the main chapel, and there are about six mini chapels on either side... so 12. Here comes the good part... I was meandering around and looking at the wall-covering tapestries after almost everyone else had left when all the lights in the whole place go out and there are vibrations from the Gregorian chanting reverberating through my whole body. Suddenly a single light illuminates another huge cross in the middle of the main chapel, and it's surrounded by monks in red capes... chanting. I don't even know how to describe the feeling I got from seeing that, and it's not like they planned it as a tourist attraction...I was the only one in there. I started crying immediately.


The Cathedral of Seville and the Alcazar --in the same day... I won't bog you down with too many details except to say that they were both amazing. The Cathedral of Seville is the largest gothic structure in the world, and the Alcazar is an old palace built by the Moors with huge indoor gardens and amazing tiled walls. (check out more pictures of these on Facebook)

School--the university is pretty normal, and there are alot of Spanish people everywhere. I finally got into all the classes I need. I'm taking 4, 300 level classes. School is boring. However, I only have classes from Monday-Thursday. Three day weekends. Every. Single. Week.

Las Discotecas--translation:the clubs. So I've been to 3-4 clubs already, and I can tell you that people in Spain know how to party. There are always Europop beats blaring wherever you go, and my newfound friends were quite suprised when they found out that I'm a "freak" simply because I know how to dance :) Generally, people in Spain don't get drunk, and it's actually very frowned upon. I've had beer or wine with several meals, and always enjoyed it. The clubs, however, are different... everyone is drunk, especially the American students. I can thankfully say that I haven't been ... I'm enjoying being the responsible one for once :)

WHERE:

Well, I've seen Madrid, El Escorial, Toledo = beautiful, and Sevilla. I live right across the street from the largest park in Seville which is also beautiful. I'm planning on going to Morocco... actually, I am going to Morocco to camp in the desert for 4 days. Alot of my friends want to travel around Europe, and I might go completely broke, but I want to do the same. I'm probably going to go to Cadiz for Festival... Spanish Mardi Gras. And tomorrow, I'm going to Italica to see old Roman ruins from B.C. Next weekend I'm going to a small town in the mountains called Rhonda, and then I'm going to Gibraltar to see the rock of Gibraltar, go splunking, and then play with monkeys. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I will have documentation to prove it. This is way to long, but I hope it makes you laugh at least a few times and entertains you til the end.

Laura (people actually call me by my real name now) :)

p.s. Please always feel free to email me!